Diary of a Fangirl: “Magic Mike”

So, last night, my BFF and I went to a premier for the film “Magic Mike.”  Of the cast, Channing Tatum, Matt Bomer, Alex Pettyfer, Joe Maganiello, and Matthew McConaughey, I only really found Maganiello and McConaughey truly attractive. 

And then I saw the film.

Channing Tatum, I knew from his debut movie “Step Up” which I hadn’t actually seen, was a real dancer.  What I didn’t know, however, is that he was a stripper in real life before he got into acting.  And good grief, did it show!  The way his body moved…it was like poetry.  Really naughty and terribly hot poetry, but still–poetry.  Like a fabulous hybrid of Pablo Neruda and Harold Robbins.  I know they put an actual story into this film, but I really didn’t care.  Also, there were way too many close ups of the lead female character, played by Cody Horn.  A film that is clearly catering to women (or gay men) really doesn’t need that many close ups of some chick the audience at large doesn’t give a piss about.  And I swear–nearly every frame she was in was a CLOSE UP.  What the hell, Steven Soderbergh?  Those close ups should have been on reserve for Joe Magianello’s abs, which I didn’t get to see enough of.

Ah, Joe–a magnificent specimen is he.  And I wouldn’t mind a dance or two or three with him.  But Channing–he was blessed with some moves.  Methinks his wife is quite happy.
Matthew’s character Dallas spent the entire film with pants much like those above on–low on the hips, showing that delectable pelvic bone.  I swear the audience waited with bated breath throughout the entire movie for those bad boys to simply fall off.
Alex Pettyfer–never heard of him, but boy was he nice to look at.  And once his character learned the moves, I could tell he had either some background in the area, or it was simply natural talent.  Either way, I had fun watching.  And Matt Bomer?
Very pretty face with a great head of hair, but man, what a waste on that stage.  His character (or the actor’s moves…whatever) was doing a good job of killing my squee and deflating my metaphorical jolly.  Yeah, they could have done without that guy, and put Michael Fassbender or Alexander Skarsgard up there instead.  I have no idea if they can dance or not, but if I have to just look at a guy cause he’s damned pretty, I’d rather it be them.  Speaking of–
Tom Cruise’s “Rock of Ages” persona Stacee Jaxx could have been on that stage as well.  Cruise simmply oozed sex appeal in the film, and I wish he had been in it more (like in it for 85% of the time).
Anyway, if you have a moment next week, I suggest going to see “Magic Mike.”  You may need some “quality time” alone soon after, though…?

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